July 18, 2011 by theresiugoes
I had an incredible imagination as a child. This would often be made apparent in the lies I told – usually at school where there was less chance of me being caught. Once I told my class that my Aunt had been eaten by a lion – the story seemed so true, I managed to convince myself of the lie. The other way my incredible imagination manifest itself was in my dreams. I would often have disturbing dreams – lions chasing me, lizards crawling in my bed, giant snakes looming behind closed doors, birds pecking me to death. These dreams were so vivid and so real, and I would often wake up in cold sweats, unable to fall back asleep.
When I told my parents about the dream of lizards crawling in my bed, they laughed at me. “Just step on the lizard, and you will kill it!”
BabaK had always said “I am not afraid of anything, even if I am alone with a lion, I will not be afraid.” He seemed so brave, and his confidence so grown up. I always looked forward to the day when I would grow up, and not be afraid of anything.
I’ve had bad dreams recently, where I have woken up in cold sweats, unable to fall back asleep. But instead of dreams about lizards and lions attacking me, I have had dreams of my father, my sister or my husband being attacked. Not by lizards and lions, but by sickness, strangers, cars – things I cannot control. It’s irrational, I know, but I do not rest well knowing that I am not in control.
And then I look at the words of King David, embattled and in (real!) danger, as Absalom tries to take his life, and he says
“But you, LORD, are a shield around me,
my glory, the One who lifts my head high.
I call out to the LORD, and He answers me from His holy mountain.
I lie down and sleep;
I wake again because the LORD sustains me.”
Oh, had I the peace of David! What confidence he has – not in himself, but in our good God, who is with us at all times. I know nothing in this world can separate me from Him. He is my glory – not my ability to love, not my security in my family – He sustains me. I can rest, safe, in Him.