August 20, 2014 by theresiugoes
One of the strangest things about being married to Husbandsylv is that I have become the “Minister’s Wife”. It is such an awkward hat to wear.
I don’t feel like I fit the persona. I am neither funny enough, nor sociable enough, I don’t play piano, I don’t ask good questions, I talk too much, I always forget names and I laugh at awkward moments. I feel like an imposter, and whenever I’m introduced as “the minister’s wife”, I always anticipate the response, “WHAT?? YOU??” and wait for the ground to swallow me up.
Last week, Husbandsylv was officiating a funeral, and the family had specifically asked I attend. So I did.
I felt like a fish out of water. I cried, like I always do at funerals, even though I’d never met the deceased and she’d lived a whole and happy life. The funeral was ok, though, because I stood on the periphery and no one really cared about me.
But then I accompanied him to the wake in the family home. I sat down next to one lady, and we chat for a while. She was really lovely, but I could see on her face the awkwardness when she realised she was sitting next to the minister’s wife.
When it was time to say “goodbye” to the family, I was confident that I couldn’t make things any more awkward. But then I made the daughter of the deceased cry. And then when she came to hug me, I stepped back and planted my big fat but on one of candles burning on the table behind me.
While Husbandsylv fussed about me, and the lady was concerned I broke a family heirloom, I yelped “my bum is on fire!” And then proceeded to laugh hysterically as everyone turned to look at my big fat bum.
At least I stopped the lady from crying, right?
Despite my prayers that the ground would swallow me up, I still had to walk down the stairs and out the door while saying goodbye to other family members with some semblance of dignity.